Friday, June 6, 2008

party fever

i care for people individually
collectively i don't give a rat's ass

this coming from a socialist?

guess the words are just meant
for specific situations

i dread gatherings
where you're suppose
to interact with a group of friends

oh the great party phobia
is embracing me once again
as i'm suppose to show up tonight
to honor a dear friend
who has retired

i know it's about her
not me
just show and make some small talk
listen and nod
listen and nod
listen and nod
i could easily do so
if i were invisible
and i'd love to see and hear what everyone
is up to these days

but being present makes me ill
the walls will spin
i'll stumble
food or drink will end up
on instead of in me
i'll have a bout of my usual acute anxiety
and develop tunnel vision
where all i'll see at any one time
is floating heads
atop garbled speech

but hey this is fun
and you're going out of respect
to the friend

yep, no wonder two years ago
when i was to attend
my last necessary party
i slipped away to the boats
where i immersed myself
in vegetative state slot machine action